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The Complexity of Toilet Paper
This is a podcast about the search for simplicity and making life less complicated. A show that dives into both the everyday moments, as well as life's big stuff where we overthink, hesitate, or just get stuck. Through honest conversations, unexpected insights, and a whole lot of potty humor, puns, and hearty laughs - we are here to help you ROLL with it and make life a little less complicated, one conversation at a time. So, come join us in the Stall! Toilet Papewr not provided...yet!
Disclaimer: This podcast is for entertainment, growth, and informational purposes only. Any opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and do not reflect the views of any organizations we may be affiliated with. We’re not your therapists, lawyers, doctors, or plumbers, just a few folks talking it out with a roll of humor and a splash of real life. Please don’t make any major life decisions while on the toilet… or at least, don’t blame us if you do.
Show Credits:
- Show open music by RYYZN
- Roll Up music by AberrantRealities
- Stall Bridge music by penguinmusic
The Complexity of Toilet Paper
Sitting in the Pocket of Curiosity: A Masterclass in Entrepreneurial Thinking
Ever feel like entrepreneurship is more complicated than it needs to be? In this illuminating conversation with serial entrepreneur Quinetha Frasier, we dig deep into why entrepreneurs often make their journeys harder than necessary—and how to simplify the path to success.
Quinetha, described by Phyllis as "lightning and joy and truth and happiness and candor all in one unique potion," brings twenty years of experience advising CEOs and community leaders on increasing financial investments. As the co-founder of the Southern Equity Collective, a fintech startup veteran, and the mind behind the Global Foundation for Education and Economic Mobility, she offers a refreshingly honest perspective on what it truly takes to build something meaningful.
The discussion reveals a powerful framework for entrepreneurial success: the two-sided coin of faith and fortitude. Faith allows you to see what doesn't yet exist—to envision your creation before it materializes. Fortitude provides the determination to keep going when obstacles inevitably arise. Together, they form the foundation for resilient entrepreneurship in a world that often glamorizes overnight success stories while hiding the messy reality.
Perhaps most valuable is Quinetha distinction between mental activity and actual thinking. While many entrepreneurs spend their mornings ruminating on yesterday's problems or checking emails, she advocates for quiet reflection focused on your destination rather than current challenges. This simple practice—"thinking about where I'm going, not where I am"—helps entrepreneurs reconnect with their vision daily and avoid getting lost in immediate difficulties.
For anyone feeling overwhelmed by the complexity of building a venture, Quinetha offers this liberating truth: "You have everything you need inside of you to be successful for the rest of your life." By sitting in what Phyllis beautifully calls "the pocket of curiosity" rather than attachment to specific outcomes, entrepreneurs can simplify their journey and find more joy in the process.
Ready to transform how you approach your entrepreneurial journey? Join us in the stall now and discover how to make your path a little less complicated—one conversation at a time.
Sometimes I wish we could go back to a time when things weren't so complicated.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Complexity of Toilet Paper, the podcast that dives into the everyday moments where we overthink, hesitate or just get stuck. I'm overthinking, I'm over, I'm overthinking. Let's hear it for the toilet paper Through honest conversations, unexpected insights and a whole lot of humor. Your hosts, phyllis Martin, mark Pollack and Al Emmerich, are here to help you roll with it and make your life a little less complicated. One conversation at a time, that's right, dude. The beauty of this is its simplicity. Speaking of which, it's time to enter the stall, put the lid down or not, depending get comfortable and roll with it.
Speaker 3:Oh worry not dear friend. It's really quite simple.
Speaker 2:This is the complexity of toilet paper. Welcome to the Vested Studios of the complexity of toilet paper. Welcome to the Vested Studios of the Complexity of Toilet Paper. Yes, we are a fine establishment where people do various things party-like, but we come here to have meaningful conversations. Anything said in the stall is open to anybody's interpretation. How do you guys like that?
Speaker 4:I think you should do the whole show in that voice. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think our listenership may dwindle very, very quickly. First of all, anybody from the other side of the pond is going.
Speaker 1:What is that you?
Speaker 2:know, we as Brits and Aussies do American accents really well, but you guys suck at us. Hello, my name is.
Speaker 1:Al Emmerich.
Speaker 4:I'm Mark Pollack.
Speaker 1:And I'm Phyllis Martin.
Speaker 2:Yes, you are, I am, we is and we are the trio that tries to bring the fun, frivolity, seriousness and even some deep thinking into the potty in the place we call the complexity of toilet paper. If you're a fellow complexifier, thank you for joining us. If you're just coming here for the very first time, hey, you know what this show is? Fun in its essence. We are literally going to do potty humor, we're going to drop stupid alliterations, do some potty talk, but at the end of the day, what we're really trying to do is get out of our own way and figure out how do we make life a little more simple, one conversation at a time, and I want to share that. You know, in case folks don't know, we have hit a pretty big mile mark. Actually, we hit it a little while ago, mark right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we crossed over the 500 mark.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 4:In our first 30 days, so you might be listening to this a year down the line, but today marks a really big accomplishment, which is 500 listens big accomplishment, which is 500, 500 listens.
Speaker 2:So, in the context of the grand scheme of life, that is just the fact that we said we're going to do it, the fact that we did it, we launched and we got out of our own way, and the fact that that there's been these downloads and people have listened and we've gotten the feedback we've gotten on Facebook uh, just, please know it's, it's a beautiful, beautiful sense of joy and we're just, we're just in the beginning, but thank you, uh, thank you, for joining us.
Speaker 4:And so if you are joining us and you enjoy the programming, please go to our Facebook page. Please like it, follow it, share with friends and family. We our goal is to to impact as many people as possible with this programming, so your help in sharing the word will definitely help us get to the next milestones.
Speaker 2:You sounded like an NPR ad. The essence of this programming is you know, right, there it is. It was a little NPR-y Itpre. Yes, that's cool, though I mean. You know how I know when something's funny. By the way, I have just figured out. Now I know the key to when something is funny. I need to get me a phyllis doll, yes, that I can carry with me all the time it's not funny, because when I hear without no, no, no, no, no, when we don't get that laugh.
Speaker 4:That is the genuine Phyllis finds it funny laugh.
Speaker 2:So let's do this. We're going to jump into the stall today and we're going to unpack the complexity of entrepreneurship, and the person that we're bringing into the stall with us is a friend of yours, phyllis.
Speaker 1:Tell us about this wonderful person. Yes, all with us is a friend of yours, phyllis. Tell us about this wonderful person. Yes, so we are bringing into the stall with us the amazing, incomparable quinita frazier, who, um I am genuinely grateful to call my friend, um. Quinita is, uh, like lightning in a. She's lightning and joy and truth and happiness and candor all in one unique potion. If you are lucky enough to have five minutes with her, your life will be forever changed. And she is one of the strongest, most tenacious, gracious, graceful person I have ever had the opportunity to work with and to know, and she just she lights up the world, she just makes the world a better place.
Speaker 2:Well, man, I just like, can you introduce Mark and I to anybody I?
Speaker 4:was just thinking. I wish I could get an introduction like that.
Speaker 1:I'll introduce both of you next time, okay, that would be.
Speaker 2:That would be awesome. Well, in addition to being a native of south carolina, uh, with an incredible history in charleston county, for the past 20 years, qu Quinnitha has advised CEOs and high-impact community leaders who are trying to increase their financial investments and community resources, so she negotiates these packages. She's also the co-founder of the Southern Equity Collective, a change management consulting firm. She co-founded a fintech startup, and what really is driving her as well is this mission to preserve and promote the Gullah, geechee and African culture in her community and worldwide by building and sustaining this solidarity and community connectedness among black Americans. And there's this amazing foundation that she created and leads. It's called the Global Foundation for Education and Economic Mobility. The domain will be in the show notes, but, man, you talk about entrepreneurship. She graduated from Tuskegee University, she's got an MBA and I mean, if I listed all the things right here, we'd have a seven-hour podcast. So I think we should just invite somebody this austere into the stall. You think she'll handle the stall.
Speaker 1:Well, Phil, I think she is going to handle the stall just fine.
Speaker 2:Because you know we're going to, we're going to throw the roll up at her and those questions are going to come fast.
Speaker 1:I think there's going to be a lot of laughter and, I bet, a few lessons.
Speaker 2:You know it's always good to have a lesson in the john, all right? Well, if you haven't heard it by now, this is the complexity of toilet paper. I'm overthinking, I'm over, I'm overthinking. And there, just like a time warp, did you feel it? And there, just like a time warp, did you feel it, it was that brush, that sound of a toilet flush, and you realize you've been swept into the stall. Come on, who's with me? Q, are you with me? Yes, okay, the entire podcast has just fallen off the cliff because Al has been doing mushrooms and apparently, in the 13 seconds between the open of the show, the intro and now here we are, this all fell down.
Speaker 4:We just never know what to expect. Once we get through the intro and into this section, we're like how's Al going to start this thing? And that's where we started.
Speaker 2:Well, welcome to the complexity of toilet paper. Our stalemate today is Quinnitha Frazier, and may we call you Q.
Speaker 3:Is that appropriate? Yes, that is appropriate.
Speaker 2:All right, and Q, and it is easy. It is easy, in fact, I think, we just go this way, the whole way.
Speaker 4:Mark, you're M, phyllis p, I'm a right on and if we do it in a different, different direction, we're map, so that even makes it ah, we could also be pam we could be pam, that's true. Right there's lots of options.
Speaker 1:Amp I like the amp you be too, amped up yeah
Speaker 2:boom and that's the show. Ladies and gentlemen, we're done.
Speaker 1:Thank you joining us it's been great being with you all.
Speaker 4:Thanks so much no, no, no, stay with us, stay with us.
Speaker 2:We got a whole program so, quinita frazier, um, we've, we've already kind of given the world, uh, your background. Phyllis gave you this magnanimous introduction that was filled with what I know is truth, but seriously, it was like it was a love fest on on who you are as a human being. And, um, I gave some of the background of your, your professional history, but, hey, nothing is better than the person themselves. So, so, give us your like 90 second, two minute elevator pitch, when, when, if we were just running into you in the stall, in the bathroom, and we said, hey, what do you do? Of course that wouldn't be a good thing to do, I guess, in the bathroom, but no no, don't ask that question?
Speaker 4:No, I guess like no you shouldn't ask what are you doing, and you shouldn't ask what do you do?
Speaker 1:Right, and how long have you been there?
Speaker 2:How would you do?
Speaker 4:that Anyway.
Speaker 2:How long? Okay, all right, we're flushing that out.
Speaker 3:I love the double. I love the double entendres. By the way, I love flushing this thing out. Oh yeah, yeah, I mean, that's about as intellectual as we get in this place.
Speaker 2:It's all downhill from here. So Q tell us about you? What do you do? What's your elevator pitch?
Speaker 3:I can do a 90 second. So I'm Quinita. I was born to help individuals first to identify their purpose or business purpose, but then to get it funded, and I know that for sure. Their purpose or business purpose. But then to get it funded and I know that for sure. And the way that I do that and have spent the last now 20 years doing that is by helping people to clarify their mission, clarify their product and then clarify who they're going to sell it to or in my world because I've done mostly impact fundraising how they're going to ask other people to support it.
Speaker 3:And I've had and it is a part of my very awesome opportunity to help start hundreds of social enterprises. I myself am a serial entrepreneur, so I got to tell you the way that I've been able to do this is by myself building companies, maintaining a way to help other, to keep myself connected to other people who are also able to bring resources to the work that I do. So I'm a military brat. I have to include that because it says a lot about a lot about my commitment issues, which we can talk about later.
Speaker 2:That's the other stall, that's the therapy stall that's right next to it, so we always supply this for our guests.
Speaker 3:Well, I want them to know that if they ever bump into me in a stall, don't ask first of all, but if we do get a conversation going, they should know that I won't commit to staying there very long, and I owe my dad and his military service to that. And also I believe that Africa now is a place that I'm also drawn to, so part of what I am totally excited about at this season of my life is building a future in another continent. So go figure, foreign entrepreneurs, you know, just another small risk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just a micro risk there.
Speaker 2:Q so Quinnitha all of us are entrepreneurs in our own right. You know, the term entrepreneur gets tossed around a lot and there's. So let's just, let's just operate from the functional side of entrepreneur, right? You've got a DNA to start up businesses, you know. Leverage your, your ideas and actually do something with them, right?
Speaker 3:You made it sound so fancy, al, all I'm able to do is convince people to buy things from me. I mean, I think, honestly, every entrepreneur has an ability to tell someone a dream or a vision and get them excited about it, and then they follow them to the marketplace.
Speaker 2:That's interesting, that is true. But you know what? I would actually nuance it, because selling an idea is there's selling the idea and then there's actually selling the product behind the idea, right? Technically, that's like Phyllis Mark and I we've birthed this podcast and the mindset we have to adopt isn't that we're selling anything because we're giving a gift, because if you believe in something, that's right. If you believe in something, you're not delivering a gift. I mean, so you're not selling anything, you're delivering a gift. You're giving something that helps people's lives get better, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, al, wouldn't it be awesome? And this is just my one opinion on entrepreneurship. I live by a theory of six degrees and I believe any person that's selling first you're right the dream first, then you have to sell the product it's much easier if they can maneuver through a network with ease. And so I believe that people that are successful in building businesses quickly, it's because they have a sound network of relationships in which to funnel through. Even if they are just marketplace relationships and even if they're very structured because of you know, whatever formal entities, it's, it's the people that you're connected to that gets you off, in my opinion. I've seen quick launch based on the wealth of, of, net of, of relationships.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Well, I I'd like to ask you the the a million dollar question right up front, which is through the lens of entrepreneurship how would you define complexity?
Speaker 3:I would define complexity as the ability to distinguish between good and great, the ability to distinguish between now or later. It's the, I would say, the decision-making in business as to and I can give an example, but simply put the pass fail. I call it the pass fail decision or the pass fail quandary of the entrepreneur. Because an entrepreneur, even the most focused entrepreneur, even the most trained and experienced entrepreneur, always battles with the question of this or that, Do I keep this or do that? And usually it's at that crossroad where an entrepreneur grows into something else. Because entrepreneur, to your point, in my opinion, is like a baseline definition. That's like vanilla, it's like a skeleton, it's like a. You know cause? An entrepreneur can be a lot of, can morph into a, into something that's more. I think that's more static.
Speaker 3:As an example, I'm an entrepreneur, but I would say that over the years, because I've been working in business, you've been working in business, we've been selling things, I wouldn't just say I'm an entrepreneur anymore. I would say I'm more of a. I'm a people builder, I'm a resource builder, so and that's something very unique I have friends that have done very well, you know, like in sales or car sales. I have a guy that owns a car and he wouldn't call himself an entrepreneur anymore because he hasn't built anything in a while. He's like I'm just running a. I'm a business owner now, which in my opinion is a bit different from being an entrepreneur, but I think all streams lead to lead from the pool of entrepreneurship.
Speaker 2:So when you see schools of entrepreneurship or you hear these conferences about entrepreneurship and this is leading to a second follow-up question about how we overcomplicate things but I'm just curious based on your explanation, do you think entrepreneurship can be taught?
Speaker 3:I think that entrepreneurship can be taught in the way of a coaching. I think that a true entrepreneur see, I would use me as an example. When I was in the fifth grade, I don't know what caused me to think that I could sell 25 cent bags of popcorn at school, but there was something in me that definitely prodded me with the idea that I could earn something on my own. I think that's the spirit of an entrepreneur.
Speaker 3:Now, the spirit of the entrepreneur, as I said, can manifest a lot of ways. I mean, I could have also said I'm going to go run a Frito-Lay company or a Frito-Lay plant and feel like, oh man, I'm kicking out hundreds of thousands of units of popcorn, but no, no, I think that the entrepreneur has a spirit of creation and I think that that's the beginning of whatever that recipe or chemical balance might be. You got to have that innovation, that creative streak. So, to answer your question, I could teach you how to sell something, which I've done, I've been taught. But if you don't have that, build something, do something, make something, spirit it's, you know, it'll kind of, it'll melt away Eventually you'll, you'll just, you'll just be a manager of something. Cause I argue that there's a big difference between a business owner and entrepreneur.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Um. Well, before I go, phil, I know that you had a lightning bolt hit you, so jump please.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had like several and I'm going to try to get it. I'm going to try to make it simple. There you have it. So, q, I think you know what I hear you say is this is entrepreneurship. Is this unique combination of creativity, drive yeah, problem solving, yeah. Passion, yes. Building, drive, problem solving, passion building. And when I talk with friends of mine who are entrepreneurs, oftentimes, especially in those hard moments, I'm going to say, like the dark moments, so much comes crashing down. It seems, yeah, it seems like that happens. And even through the course of our relationship which I can't believe I've known you for almost six years now. I know there have been times with your businesses that have been easier, smooth sailing, and there have been times that have been harder. And so I'm wondering, really, for our listeners, during those hard times, when things do feel very complicated or very complex, what is it that you can share to help our listeners break from that, to simplify, to get to the heart of the matter and keep moving forward?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Well, I love that, I love that example and I hope people get this. There's a two-sided coin, so on one side of the coin there's something called faith, which you know without getting deep, quote unquote, it's required seeing something that isn't there. So it's tough. I'm having a month where I'm dealing with vendors that aren't working on time. I'm dealing with employees that I can't pay because the vendors didn't deliver on time.
Speaker 3:So on one side I got to have faith that this is going to work out, because if you don't, you panic and you go into a fear-based leadership mode which, if anybody who's ever been an entrepreneur knows that, when you get into that rank you're sort of just reacting and making knee-jerk reactions. It's not a good time. So you got to have that F, that faith on one side of the coin. Now, on the other side of the coin is a little friend called fortitude. Now, I like people to look words up, because that word is pretty heavy when you look it up. But fortitude means keep going anyway. So there's a wall, but you look at it and say this must be an illusion, because I got to go through this wall in order to talk to my team on Friday, knowing that we haven't hit our sales goal for this quarter, but we got to get started for the next quarter. So fortitude is what says on the other side of the coin keep going anyway.
Speaker 3:Okay, I didn't hit my goals for two quarters, which I've done in banking, which is not very good because you get shamed at sales meetings. I could give up. I could say, eh, this may not be for me. I could even say a lot of entrepreneurs deal with this. Maybe I should go back. That is the monkey on your back at all times. Maybe I should go back and get something more stable. That's the opposite of fortitude. Fortitude in the inverse is giving up. So that's why you need the two Fs. You need one side of the coin, fortitude. The other side, faith, faith, faith. So down times, hard times, take the coin Both sides, both sides, yeah.
Speaker 2:Does this apply to both social entrepreneurship in your mind as well as the traditional business entrepreneurship, because you are both?
Speaker 3:Yes, and I think that most traditional business owners, who are profit motive only, shareholders focused only, they forget that they're doing the two sides Because see when you are not really held accountable. So the social let me just quick distinction social enterprise we just have, we have an earned income model like everybody else, except there's also a charitable or a impact portion of results. You know like, hey, I'm talking to shareholders, but I'm also talking to people who care about impact. Is somebody's life changed, behavior changed, and so forth. The traditional entrepreneur, that's not a social entrepreneur, it's profit, it's bottom lines, it's shareholder Are we getting paid?
Speaker 3:But in both instances, especially the traditional entrepreneur, they are using that fortitude. They just typically are solving problems in a more financially focused manner. Right, it's more of like hey, man, I got to have faith, or I got to get this loan, or I got to get this extension, or you know. So people don't kind of flag it. Those of us in the social space were, you know or not, just people that just acknowledge the tools to success. They will say no, honey, it was faith that got us through this. So I think, I think it exists in both places.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so one of the things that I hear a lot, when, when you scroll social or whatever, is this idea of manifestation, right? You scroll social or whatever, is this idea of manifestation right, like? And what I feel like you're touching on Q, which is really powerful and kind of in line with what a lot of people are talking about, is having that vision, right? So, in order to build something, in order to manifest it and whatever, whatever methodology you want to use in order to do that, you've got to have a clear vision of what that looks like. And I, I, when you were speaking, the first thing that came to mind to me was an artist, michelangelo.
Speaker 4:So you take a look at this piece of marble, right, and there's nothing. It's just a beautiful slab of marble, but you've got to see the figure that's in that marble and then, as you chip away, and maybe you make some bad chips, and maybe you make some great ones, and the marble doesn't cut the way that you need it to you, still, that's your fortitude. You still keep moving forward, knowing that you have that vision of that marble that's in there. Yeah, is that kind of what you're talking about as you're going through this?
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and I'm happy that you said seeing beyond the marble. So listen to this, this is true. I'm saying it because I've talked to so many founders. I know it's true the ability to see something that already exists. Now hear me out. I know this sounds crazy.
Speaker 3:When I'm building a house this year, I've got to meet with the architect. The architect has got to get me some blueprints. Okay, he can either pull me some blueprints that somebody has already built a house I mean, hey, just let me kind of stamp and paste, use the same one that someone has done. But even if he uses the blueprint that someone else has, he's still going to ask so what color inside? So what type of panel, what type of floors? He's still going to ask so what color inside? So what type of panel, what type of floors? Finishing?
Speaker 3:It is required for me to think it all the way through to the final image. The concept of manifestation is us using our definite ability because we all have the ability to see something in our mind that already exists and then having the fortitude to actually, as you said, scrape through the marble to see it through. Now, the thing about manifestation is it's a day-by-day thing Because, like you said if you see the sculpture the first day, oh man, I see it for sure, I know it exists somewhere. But then tomorrow I start carving and it looks totally opposite of what I thought about mine. Do I say oh, I must have got it wrong.
Speaker 3:It must be this, I must no, no, no, no. You don't do that. You don't say this is my version. You go nah, it's something else, and then you do it again. So the concept of manifestation, especially in entrepreneurship, means every day I wake up I have to recall the image and I don't want to jump too fast. But one of the ways that I personally do that and I encourage my team to do it is through scripting. That means writing an actual movie script that takes you as much as you can see into the day to day manifesting, because it's not from rock to sculpture. Everyone knows that Like it's like man. I started working on a sculpture. If I wrote a script, yeah, man, I started tapping. The first thing I saw was Mickey. You know Michelangelo's like sculpture face. You know bust? No, you didn't see that. You started cracking at it. It looked a mess, but because you wrote your script, it's like this is a part of it.
Speaker 2:And isn't that part of the challenge, though? Q, because we live in a world of instant gratification, that's it I always tell the story of. There's two things. I think that from a sociology standpoint, this has been studied, but there were really the linchpins in this velocity towards instant gratification, in this velocity towards instant gratification. First was the credit card, the, you know, because you could get what you needed in that moment. You don't have to wait. Some people say it was the car, but no, you still had to do things to get the car. The credit card, boom, it was just handed to you practically early on. And and then the second is, is, is is the internet, with Google and search and the ability to find things Right. So we want to go from rock to sculpture without in between, and so I, and and I appreciate your dipping into your, your, your solutions, cause we're going to, we're going to, we're going to do that towards the end of the, the program, and I want to make sure we get those, and we're going to drop them in show notes and blow it up.
Speaker 2:And you know, q is going to be bigger than famous, and she already is, but I, I have a question that relates to complicating things. You are bringing up these, these nuggets, and you talked about the things that so often stand in our way of fear versus faith, and fear that prevents fortitude. Can you just and I know there's a litany of different things, but I'm literally walking through this queue my own, I mean, I'm in this excavation of Al right now, and so this is very this is beautiful truth. You're speaking, yeah, but in your experience as an entrepreneur, what are the key things that entrepreneurs overthink or make more complex than than they truly need to be? That stands in their way? What are those things in your, your experience?
Speaker 3:yeah, you mentioned fear, and in my opinion, there are two major things, and the first and well, to be honest, all of them have to do with your eyesight A major distraction, and I call them distractions. One of the major distractions for an entrepreneur is the right now, and I think you set it up perfectly, because we're trained to yeah, we're trained to react right To what we're, what's what we're looking at and what we're seeing in front of us. Yeah, today you could have said oh, hey, man, two weeks from now, I know I'm going to be wealthy and in a good place. What does that mean? Well, in two weeks I'm going to get paid from a big job that I started last week Wonderful. Yeah, in two weeks I'm going to use that money to pay off about four or five bills Fantastic.
Speaker 3:But today you're sitting in your house and the bill collector's calling and there are people you have to pay. And then, also, you've not kept your commitments. That's the worst part. I mean, you can't do what you said you were going to do as an entrepreneur, yeah. So the question becomes now how can I uncomplicate that situation that I'm sitting inside of right now? I mean, that's every day. For now, that could be an everyday reality.
Speaker 3:That makes yes, the distraction is my inability to remember that on the day that it doesn't exist. I'm breaking this down so simple because I want us to take it day by day.
Speaker 3:So, if this is the day two towards the two I said in two weeks. I know it's coming. I know it's coming, but it's day five now. Oh man, these people keep calling me man. My mom doesn't understand why I quit my job to start this company. We've been doing pretty good for the last two years. Why am I continuing in this? But in two weeks? You know, the big deal is coming.
Speaker 3:In this case looks like belief Now, belief in who, belief in what? Because I'm doing all I can do. Yeah, belief in what you saw. It's quite simple. What we tend to do, al, is we're waiting for someone to save us and rescue us from the fire. For the whole damn two weeks we're like, oh, somebody's got to come get me out of this. Oh, where's this person coming? Oh man, if my wife understood. Oh, if my husband? For two weeks we're trying to put out a house fire. That's actually an illusion. So the way that we complicate things is by not seeing the image that we gave ourself in the first place, day by day, and it's very simple.
Speaker 3:It's day by day. It's. I woke up today and let me tell you I still struggle with this and it's so real. It's so real the feeling of inadequacy, the feeling of helplessness and the definite feeling of the pressure of obligation. Because once you become an entrepreneur, or even responsible for someone else's livelihood right, all of a sudden it's like I can't fail. I can't fail, I can't fail. I got to get this. This has got to work, this has got to work. Remember that voice. This has got to work.
Speaker 3:What we will talk about later around solutions has to do with us dealing with that image, because we really react, and this everyone knows, the scientific fact, I mean, whatever we're thinking about, it drives our body to react. So when I'm low energy, low energy, low energy for two weeks, I'm depressed because why? I don't believe what I saw? I only believe what I'm seeing. The opposite of manifest, that's the opposite of manifestation. Only believing what you see is the opposite of manifesting. To manifest, you must hold on, and that's what the fate side of the coin is. You must hold on to the original vision. You got to pull the blueprint out every day, you know.
Speaker 1:You know, q? When I hear you say that, this is just what comes to mind. And first of all, thank you like a million thank yous for everything you just said. It makes me wonder I'm trying to figure out the right way to say. It makes me wonder if the narratives that we have told ourselves culturally over time are the barrier, because essentially they're not true. The reality, there are realities of entrepreneurship that perhaps we could not. What I'm hearing is there's a normalization to it and if we accepted that as normal those things that you have just described, then the self-doubt, the concern we're not doing enough, the fear admittedly, it can be scary at times, but more so the driver lean into the driver the energy, the creativity, the knowing what you know, the vision that you see could take the place of the other things. And that could be normal, because everything else is just part of it.
Speaker 3:There is a trust system that exists, Okay, From the individual level. That trust system begins in me. I trust in myself to deliver what I said. But then there's a trust system between the four of us. If we went back to that system, Phyllis, we wouldn't be cutting each other out in fear. Also, we wouldn't stress each other out because we would have faith. Al doesn't let me. Al keeps his word. This is a bad month. He's tripping because something isn't happening, but we will continue to operate beyond this ebb and flow. See, the truth is we should expect ups and downs. A farmer should expect to get his reward based on a great harvest. However, the farmer knows that I could plant 10 seeds, the birds could eat eight, but I only need two to create two huge trees of more seeds. It's the way I'm seeing it. I should expect that the birds are going to picket my seeds. It's natural.
Speaker 2:And and I've you know there's a. This is not an excuse, but it is a. It is a condition that occurred and we want to go back to probably mid 2000s, 2013 ago, about the parallels between fashion, modeling and entrepreneurship. Wow, and fashion and modeling put out all the magazines and the dresses and the looks that that women mainly and men were supposed to become. Well, the same thing happened with entrepreneurship. You got all these startup funnel, startup accelerators and all these different events became sexy in this college and this college and that, and it was the celebration.
Speaker 2:And my dear friend, ron Benziv used to run a program called One Million Cups in Orlando, florida, and he said once the one unmet need that's not still today being touched is the falsehood of the sexiness of entrepreneurship, because what you just said is literally the mirror facing lies that we try to climb out of, the truths. We run from the fear that we run toward and then away from the and all those things, and it's the quote unquote dark side, but it's also the beautiful side, because that's the only light that you, if you don't get past that, then you don't get to the light.
Speaker 3:Amen. You know, that's why I love my brother that wrote the lean startup. I mean when I say I married that concept because he said hey, before you build the company, make the toaster. And before you make the toaster, go ask someone that eats toast. Now, that's the work. That, that's the work of entrepreneur, that's the nobody wants to go talk to people who are not paying you for two months to test a most viable product. Who wants to do that?
Speaker 3:Now I again, I, I, I closely correlate entrepreneurship with the creator, the creation, but what we and I'm following you, brother what we did, though, is we told everybody in corporate America after 9-11 that you know, this thing is kind of shaky, but it's cool. You could always be an entrepreneur. You could start up every company. We know, google, all of them start these startup competitions. Hey, you come, bring your good ideas and start something, and you can be free. You can just be free to have your idea be manifested into a company, and people will work for you and you can have an advisory board, and this will be great. But what we didn't stop and tell people out is like, just like the gold rush, you'd be shooting cornflakes through an.
Speaker 2:IV, just like the gold that you'd be shooting cornflakes through an IV.
Speaker 3:They didn't talk about that part.
Speaker 2:No, I mean seriously. They didn't tell you the reality, and that reality is the loneliness, the road, the whole journey for the founder is so much and requires so much more than just building the product. It's about building within. Yep, look, q, we could go seven hours with you and I want to make sure that we give the brilliance of your solutions. But before we get to the solutions, we have to step into the stall. But it's not just any stall, it is time to roll it up, that's right. This is the moment, q, when all the intellect, mastery, wisdom of your life that you are now just showering upon us, right, it really comes to the nexus now of the hard questions, the things that people truly, I think, maybe listen to the show for. And so, with that, I ask you to please peel back any layers of doubt and fear within yourself, apply the fortitude you need to answer the following question, mark. Start us off.
Speaker 4:All right. So when it comes to toilet paper, do you like it wet or dry?
Speaker 3:Dry, Dry, dry dry, dry, dry.
Speaker 2:Wow, that may have been the most emphatic answer ever.
Speaker 4:Man there's no room for no doubt. Yeah, kind of clear on that one.
Speaker 3:Kind of clear on that one.
Speaker 2:All right, I will go next, since, since you are phil's guest, we'll let her uh, go go last here um one ply single ply or two ply toilet paper gotta be double, gotta be two ply.
Speaker 3:It's only worth it if it's two ply.
Speaker 2:Now, come on, he wants one ply of anything we have had lots of discussions about this queue and and, and we believe we need to interview somebody from one of the major or all the major. Maybe we get them on and we can have a toilet paper fight, but let's get them all yeah, what's your?
Speaker 1:what's your favorite potty pastime? What do you got going on? What are you doing there in addition? Thanks for clarifying that I just didn't want to, I didn't want to answer, you know, in a way that would embarrass her later, although this could embarrass her anyway I'm gonna think I'm embarrassed, I'm gonna think this through one of the major like needle points.
Speaker 3:Oh man, I don't read because I'm never there long enough, because I like to read, like, just really read. I'm telling you contemplative thinking. I gotta just break it down. I'm getting a lot of thinking done. Yeah, because it's quiet it usually. You know it's very comfortable, even if you have company.
Speaker 2:You can kind of pull away, you know, to the washroom did you just say pull away, so like that's such a, that's such a nice way well, that's a great lead in.
Speaker 4:That's a great lead into my next's a great lead-in to my next question, and this is probably the most important out of all of them. So visualize you've taken the brand new roll of toilet paper out of its plastic wrap and you've taken the little squishy thing that holds it to the wall right and you going to put it in the toilet paper holder. Is it up or over or under? How dare you ask me? Of course it's over.
Speaker 3:Yes, does anyone do an under? They do. Does anyone keep an under?
Speaker 4:We don't allow them back on the show, don't do it, they're a one and done. In fact, we end the show. There are we don't. Don't do it, they're a one and done. They're a one and done. In fact, we end the show right here. If they say under, we're like thanks for joining.
Speaker 1:We have listeners who are under.
Speaker 4:I know I'm just making a big deal for Q, I know, oh, sorry my bad.
Speaker 1:How dare I so? Three, five solutions, ways that, for those who are entrepreneurs or thinking about becoming entrepreneurs, ways that they can simplify their, their work, their thinking. The way that they can simplify their work, their thinking, the way that they approach the work.
Speaker 3:The number one thing, honest to God, is we need to stop and think, think. It sounds like something very simple, but we've been having lots of mental activity. I'm going to say that again. I think that one of the first and easiest things that we can begin doing is thinking, and thinking has to do with three major things. Okay, you're starting a business. Of course you need to be logical. Logic is in thinking. So I would say you know, if you're, if you are an entrepreneur right now and you're in a tough place, me, I'm just being honest.
Speaker 3:I am an illogical entrepreneur because I lean heavily on the second thing that you do. When you think, you reason. I like to reason. I'm like, hey, maybe it'll work out this way, but if we do it this way, then we can do it this way. And in my opinion, we don't reason enough in business anymore. We kind of just want to use something that's been on a shelf or rely on emotions that we had in 1985 to determine how we react to things.
Speaker 3:But I'm of the mind that we're in a new paradigm in business where we will be required to think differently. And I know that sounds very status quo when people say think differently, think outside the box, do something new. We honestly are going to have to do that, like, think differently the big box. You know, when we went to B school, all of us went to B school. When we went to B school, what were they teaching us? How to run a big box company, how to do management for a big box company, how to, you know, be a good legal person for a big box company. That is all, in my opinion, a way of thinking that will not take us into the next 20 years, in my opinion. In my opinion, thinking differently is number one and we can unpack that. But thinking not mental, see, mental activity is fair Trying to fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it. Stop, fix it, fix it, fix it.
Speaker 3:Or, if you're just getting started, people come to me for money. So I hear this all the time oh, if I just had some money. Oh, if I just had some money. Oh, if I just had some money. Oh, if I could just get a loan. Oh, if I could, just if somebody would just send me. I'm always I mean, honestly, this is kind of spiritually deep but you have everything you need inside of you to be successful for the rest of your life.
Speaker 3:It's here the mental activity of worrying about financial instability is an illusion For an entrepreneur. It's an illusion Because remember, the reason why you're an entrepreneur in the first place is because you're building something right. You're building something yourself. So where's the security in that? See, that's what Phyllis said in the beginning. Just break the whole idea that there's supposed to be a comfortable place for us to sit every day and just go and get a check and go home and be with your family by six. That shiggity is done, and if you're an entrepreneur, it was never real anyway. Yeah, you can be with your family all day, every day, if you want to. If you're thinking about how you can do that, it's thinking Whoa, yeah, it's thinking.
Speaker 2:I know that there's people out there that will look at the words, and Mark and Phyllis and I have spent a lot of time on this complexity versus thinking and so on and so forth. But you said something Thinking is what's so important, but yet we all know that overthinking is paralysis, right. And so just if you could kind of put this in a wrap for us, if you would button up, because you said we don't have enough reason. And so in your mindset and understanding which I am agreeing with here 100% about not enough reason, what's the relationship between reason and thinking and overthinking?
Speaker 3:So when you wake up in the morning, tomorrow's Wednesday, you'll get up. Let's say, tomorrow's Friday, I like a Friday. You wake up and of course, people have to be paid, and including you. Yeah, the first thing that I would do first I'm talking about get up, brush your teeth, wash your face. Let's walk it in the morning, maybe have your coffee, sit at the table and be quiet. Let's sit. Let's try not turning the television on, not opening and checking your bank of America account, which I trust me will ruin a whole day, um, and definitely not quickly going to emails. Let's just start something very basic to thinking, being quiet so you can't think about what you thought about yesterday and call it thinking. So when you sit quiet, the first thing you want to do is clean the slate. Now what I'm saying, al, sounds kind of tough, because no one wants to do what we're saying right now. No one wants to get up in the morning and change their morning routine Because, remember, we talked about it, we're on autopilot from 1985. Get up, think about yesterday, solve the problem, be stressed out, because the news on it's a whole wrap. So what I'm suggesting is after I'm quiet, I have my coffee, I thought about? What do I think about?
Speaker 3:We started here in the beginning. I'm thinking about where I'm going, not where I am. See, that's something very basic to think about the big picture every day. We were taught focus on the small stuff, focus on the small stuff, focus on the small stuff. Then the big thing will appear, but it's the opposite will appear, but it's the opposite. You can't reason based on a problem. You got to reason based on a fact. And the fact of the matter is you already know what you're building. You've seen it in your mind. Remember the sculpture? We were chipping, chipping, chipping. It's day 25 out of 50. It doesn't look like what it's going to look at 50,. But we're sitting and thinking, reasoning how do I get from this to there? And then here's the manifestation part Listening, stopping to listen, listen, yeah, so the manifesting. And see, I'm getting into the day to day because, guess what, I'm that person. I'm that person.
Speaker 3:When I get up in the morning, I have a decision to make. I can ruminate on what happened yesterday because I'm that person. I'm that person. When I get up in the morning, I have a decision to make. I can ruminate on what happened yesterday, because I'm disappointed or I don't know what I'm going to do today. Usually, I don't know what's going to happen today, so I could spend my morning thinking about what I don't know. Oh, I don't know how this is going to work out. Oh, I don't know how this is going to. Or I could spend my morning thinking about where I'm trying to go. Man, when I'm finished building this division, we're going to sell 800 units of these jewelry pieces. I don't care what I have to do, even though I'm dead broke today, I know it.
Speaker 2:Wow, it's just incredible how you've looped this. I mean, there's so many analogies and visualizations you've crafted Well. Uh, quinnitha Frazier has been our guest Mark. Any parting uh words for Q.
Speaker 4:Thank you. What a wonderful, wonderful uh conversation, and I am sure if someone is thinking about starting a company, in the midst of starting a company have been part of a company or working for an organization where they take an entrepreneurial role within that company what you've shared is, and will be, and continue to be, impactful, so thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you, mark, and you tell them to keep that coin. Keep that coin, bill.
Speaker 1:I just Q, first of all, thank you, a million thank yous. But what I'm walking away with a couple of things that you just said, or that I said, based on what I heard you say, what got you here won't get you there, right, right, what got you to where you are today is not going to get you to where you want to go, and that's in part of that thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. I absolutely love that. We all have exactly what we need to be successful, but what I really hear you say over and over again is sitting in the pocket of curiosity, and perhaps if we shift a little bit to curiosity, then things do become more simple because there's no attachment to the outcome. There's an attachment to the question which will provide more information. So thank you for those gifts today.
Speaker 4:Now, that's a mic drop moment, right there I did it.
Speaker 2:Phil, you just named our show and I don't care what artificial intelligence tells us sitting in the pocket of curiosity. This has been a wonderful journey. Quinnitha Frazier, thank you. We are going to drop. Quinnitha Frazier, thank you. We are going to drop Quinnitha's information in the show notes. Also, she's got some other tips for entrepreneurs. We'll put that in there too, along with links to her wonderful domain and website. Quinnitha Frazier, thank you so much.
Speaker 3:You're very welcome. It's been my pleasure and be well.
Speaker 2:This is the complexity of toilet paper. We'll trying to start a movement. Okay, that was probably a bad pun Intended, by the way, but seriously, the complexity of toilet paper is about creating conversations in places where things just don't need to be that complicated. It's about finding the simplicity in life and if we work together, you know what we think we can actually achieve it. So follow us on Facebook, share the show, give us your comments and come back and join us in the stall. Okay, I know that I probably totally Mike-hogged because I had a crush on her brainwaves, so I want to apologize in advance.
Speaker 4:I think it was the q and al show for it wasn't that bad, was it?
Speaker 4:can I please talk?
Speaker 4:No, it was fine.
Speaker 4:You know, q had really so much to share in a small amount of time and the, the things that she was able to provide, the things that she's been able to do, and then bring that out as not only the tips of thinking which I, I just really appreciate the simplicity of that piece, that one tip of just just think, right, um, not overthink to your point now, uh, but this through Ask people, talk to people. I think that was that was really powerful I thought of to while she was going through it and obviously we didn't have the time is there's a lot of people in entrepreneurial type roles while they might work for XYZ company, they're asked to be the executive director of that company, right, and they have to run it as if it is their company, and so I think that there's a lot of parts and pieces, that is, if you're not an entrepreneur by title or because you started a business, that your role, um, your role really takes on that, that element. So, yeah, it was really great. I was excited to have her on the show.
Speaker 2:Phil, you dropped something so amazing sitting in the pocket of curiosity and I know I brought it up at the end there. But wow, what a visualization. And isn't that the essence of entrepreneurship?
Speaker 1:and problem solving, building something off of almost nothing and on a promise, right, and you're trying really hard and you're responsible for people. You're responsible for the people in your organization. You're responsible to the people that you say that you want to serve. And that comes with a heavy load and I'm just learning myself at this late stage of my career that I don't have to have all of the answers, I just have to be curious. I do not have to know how to do everything or how to solve for everything, but I do have to be curious enough to know where to go to ask questions and who to ask questions of, and be at peace with that and let that manifest into something.
Speaker 4:It's the be at peace part that's hard animal hospital when I owned that and we had a vision for that thing, and what we learned nine months in, a year in, was the vision that we wrote out was not the vision that it became uh, but it became something beautiful. So, uh, I love that too, that that you've got to be okay with with you see, you see what you want it to become, but you have to be okay with what it's becoming and I really did.
Speaker 4:I really did enjoy that, that piece of insight from from Q as well.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's that's why that faith piece that she talked about, and the, the idea that you have to have this fortitude because that change is going to occur yeah, that vision you had when I started value mapping. Now much of it is the principle the same, but the way it's used and the way it's applied has totally changed over the years. And if I didn't allow faith to step in front of that fortitude and, I'm sorry, with the fortitude to step in front of that fear, which I haven't always done, I'd have never progressed. But looking at, it from this podcast too.
Speaker 4:Right. We came together, we had a vision for it, we started interviewing folks and we stopped a few episodes in and we said you know what? We've got to find a better, different way. And so we've gone back and we've re-interviewed folks, we've changed our format, um so even the vision of this modifies, so um, so it's a neat place to be.
Speaker 2:I remodeled my bathroom as a result of this show. Now it had nothing to I, just I I redid the floorboards.
Speaker 4:Thank you, Phyllis. Phyllis will come and keep it clean.
Speaker 1:I will. I'm so happy it brings me great peace that you're taking care of your baseboards.
Speaker 2:You will have to go back to the episode. I think it was Biohazard to learn all about Phyllis's floorboards in her bathroom. It's a beautiful excavation of psyche, yeah it really is.
Speaker 1:It's a beautiful excavation of psyche.
Speaker 2:It really is. It's amazing. We hope you've enjoyed this show. If this has been something that resonated with you, please visit our Facebook page, like us, follow us, interact with us. There's polls, there's surveys, there's fun stuff. We take a poke at fun of ourselves. We post our shows. Also, you can visit us on our Buzzsprout feed. Either way, this is I hate to call it, but it's a movement.
Speaker 3:But it is Let it go.
Speaker 2:I can't, no, I'm never going to not let that go. But no, it is a movement to. Okay, I guess.
Speaker 1:Glad you're not constipated about it.
Speaker 2:Stuck in my mind. Anyway, yeah, that was pretty good. It was good. We really want to help you find simplicity in your life, one conversation at a time. Thank you for joining us. This is the complexity of toilet paper.
Speaker 1:Did you say toilet?
Speaker 3:paper, everything complicated. One big, big, big mess.
