The Complexity of Toilet Paper
This is a podcast about the search for simplicity and making life less complicated. A show that dives into both the everyday moments, as well as life's big stuff where we overthink, hesitate, or just get stuck. Through honest conversations, unexpected insights, and a whole lot of potty humor, puns, and hearty laughs - we are here to help you ROLL with it and make life a little less complicated, one conversation at a time. So, come join us in the Stall! Toilet Papewr not provided...yet!
Disclaimer: This podcast is for entertainment, growth, and informational purposes only. Any opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and do not reflect the views of any organizations we may be affiliated with. We’re not your therapists, lawyers, doctors, or plumbers, just a few folks talking it out with a roll of humor and a splash of real life. Please don’t make any major life decisions while on the toilet… or at least, don’t blame us if you do.
Show Credits:
- Show open music by RYYZN
- Roll Up music by AberrantRealities
- Stall Bridge music by penguinmusic
The Complexity of Toilet Paper
Life's New Normal: Managing Fear So It Doesn't Steal Your Joy
What happens when life suddenly and permanently redefines your "normal"? That's the powerful question at the heart of our conversation with acclaimed author Lori Schur, whose son's Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis at age eight changed everything about their family's daily reality.
"Before the diagnosis, normal was being able to predict what my day was going to be," Lori explains, describing the shift from typical parenting concerns to a world of constant blood sugar monitoring, medical management, and navigating a complex new reality. While her story centers on diabetes, her insights apply universally to anyone facing unexpected life changes – whether health-related, professional, or personal.
The most profound moment comes when Lori shares her transformative realization: "I had to learn how to manage the fear so that it did not take away my joy." This delicate balance – acknowledging legitimate fears while preventing them from dominating our experience – becomes essential when life throws us curveballs. Lori discovered that children naturally excel at living in the moment, while adults often get caught worrying about potential future problems.
Lori's novel "What Happened to Normal" explores this journey through fiction, allowing her to incorporate experiences beyond her own family's story. Her advice for adapting to major life changes resonates deeply: share your story to reduce isolation, find community with others facing similar challenges, and arm yourself with knowledge to combat fear. Most importantly, accept rather than resist your new reality – because fighting against change only robs you of experiencing the present moment fully.
Whether you're managing a chronic condition, supporting someone who is, or navigating any significant life transition, this conversation offers both practical wisdom and emotional reassurance. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond to it.
Learn more about Lori through her links below.
LinkedIn: Lori Schur - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-schur-200689153/
Instagram: aschurnovel - https://www.instagram.com/aschurnovel/
Facebook: A Schur Novel - https://www.facebook.com/schurthingevents
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/aschurnovel
Sometimes I wish we could go back to a time when things weren't so complicated.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the Complexity of Toilet Paper, the podcast that dives into the everyday moments where we overthink, hesitate or just get stuck. I'm overthinking, I'm over.
Speaker 1:I'm overthinking, let's hear it for the toilet paper Through honest conversations, unexpected insights and a whole lot of humor. Your hosts, phyllis Martin, mark Pollack and Al Emmerich, are here to help you roll with it and make your life a little less complicated. One conversation at a time, that's right, dude. The beauty of this is its simplicity. Speaking of which, it's time to enter the stall Put the lid down or not, depending Get comfortable and roll with it. Oh worry not, dear friend, it's really quite simple. This is the complexity of toilet paper, and like that, almost as if walking through a fairy tale, that there's a huge toilet and the world is spinning, we arrive here in the stall with the one and only Laurie Shore, who is an acclaimed author, a mother, parent, amazing lady, cool background. I mean, you're like Nita Metal or something like that, because you've got the life that a lot of people go. How did she do that? Oh, and she's an author too. So congratulations and welcome to the stall.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you, and thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Oh, you kidding us. I mean, first of all, the only reason we do this show is so that we can reconnect with old friends and have a reason to talk to them. So you know.
Speaker 2:Hey, I always have a reason. I always have a reason to talk to Lori.
Speaker 1:So, Lori, obviously you and Phyllis have a history, but I have to ask you we know that you've listened to the show and we know you're a fan of the show what was your first thought when you heard Phyllis was doing a show called the Complexity of Toilet Paper?
Speaker 3:I was very surprised, actually, but very proud of her um stepping out of her box and doing something like this. I think it's so exciting and it's so great, you know mark.
Speaker 1:How lucky are we that we get the out of the box phyllis?
Speaker 4:I know, I was just thinking that everybody had has this impression of of who phyllis, uh, is or or was. And we, the real Phyllis, the one who stepped out of this box and gets to play with us.
Speaker 3:You get the fun, Phyllis.
Speaker 4:You know the world's getting to know her.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, in a major way. Yeah, a couple episodes ago we're talking about her singing and now she's I mean word has it. We get reports from Tim that she's just caught singing down the street, talking to herself, you know, interviewing people at random with a roll of toilet paper in her hand. It's a pretty crazy thing. I love it. Who would have known?
Speaker 3:And all these years that I knew you, I did not know that you wanted to sing and that you love to sing, because that was always like a hidden desire of mine. I always said, if I came back in my next life, I want to be Kelly Clarkson and just be able to sing like her, and so that was so exciting for me to hear that about you today. See, I'm always learning something new all these years later.
Speaker 1:So, lori, you know Phyllis did her amazingly wonderful personal job of sharing the connection between you two, and what we really want to know, just before we start to dive into this stall, is give us your elevator pitch.
Speaker 3:You know what is, who is Lori Shore and what brings her into the stall with us and what's in front of you these days and tell us about that book. Well, what I am, first and foremost, is a mom, and I have had a very interesting professional career path through the years, but what's been most meaningful to me has been being a mom to my son. He was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 2009 at the age of eight, and immediately after his diagnosis, we got involved with an organization that was then called JDRF is now called Breakthrough T1D, after a rebrand. Mission is the same to prevent, treat and cure type 1 diabetes. And fast forward 16 years later and many years of mentoring newly diagnosed families, living this life of parenting my son to raise him to be independent and self-sufficient, parenting my son to raise him to be independent and self-sufficient, and realized that there were so many people who still didn't understand what type 1 was, and also newly diagnosed families that were really struggling with their new normal.
Speaker 3:And so I wrote this novel called what Happened to Normal, and it tells the story of a mom whose young son is diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, and it explores the impact of that diagnosis on every aspect of her life, delves into her relationships, her friendships, her faith, her career and the way it impacts her parenting, and I wanted to tell the story. It is very loosely based on my experience, but I wrote it as a novel because I wanted to be able to show a more inclusive vision of what it's like to raise a child with type one, and there were some experiences that I did not have firsthand but that I know other families deal with, and so I wanted to be able to include that as well. So it was written as a novel, but again with a lot of knowledge of my experience, and I wrote it because I wanted to raise awareness about life with type 1. I wanted to validate the parent experience for those new to this journey and living with this disease, and I wanted to offer hope and inspiration to people along that path.
Speaker 1:Oh, just that, Just that Just that little bit.
Speaker 3:Just a little tiny thing. That was my hope. That was my hope of what would come out of this novel.
Speaker 2:You know, laurie, the story in and of itself and I have the good fortune of knowing you for, I think, a much bigger question that all of us, including our listeners, probably ask themselves from time to time, and that is what really happens when life won't let you return to normal. And I think the book really sets out through. The story in and of itself, while it's focused on type 1 diabetes and experiences, really poses that greater challenge and that greater question about really getting on a separate path and leaving one normal behind and moving into a new normal, and so I'm wondering what that moment was in your family's life when that that we knew to be normal in our life changed.
Speaker 3:Our daily routine, changed Our sleep patterns, changed Our way of thinking about going about a normal, what you would call a normal activity like just going to a ball game or going out to dinner. Changed because of the care that T1D requires, type 1 diabetes. And so I think there was an initial reaction to the change of normal was to be frightened, to be angry of normal was to be frightened, to be angry, to be frustrated, because you are faced with something completely unfamiliar. And when I think about the myth of normal, I think about what's familiar, what's predictable, what your comfort level is and how you move through that comfort level with your friends and your family, and when you receive a diagnosis or you have any life-changing event that is completely unforeseen, all of that is disturbed, and so then you have to wrap your head around that and adjust to that thought that everything you knew to be what you considered normal is no longer normal.
Speaker 4:So can let me ask a question around this normal piece, because, as we talk about the complexity of normal or the complications of normal, I would love for our audience to clearly understand what does normal mean to you? What I think I hear you saying is that normal is a semblance of a routine that we get used to, but I think there might be more than that. So, lori, share with us how you define normal, so we can better understand what's complicated in this new world.
Speaker 3:So, before the diagnosis, what I would say I thought was normal was being able to predict to an extent what my day was going to be. So I knew I was going to wake up. I was going to feed my son breakfast. He was going to go to what my day was going to be. So I knew I was going to wake up. I was going to feed my son breakfast. He was going to go to school. I was going to go. I worked part time at the time. I was going to go to work or I was going to go, you know, to volunteer with an organization that I was very involved with at the time and Normal to me was my routine at the time and having normal expectations of hope.
Speaker 3:My child has a great day at school today. I hope he gets along with his friends. I hope he's good in class and listens to the teacher. You know those were my expectations for the day and my excitement around the day was picking him up after school and hearing all those stories. My normal after diagnosis became does he have all his supplies he needs at school? Is the nurse paying attention to his numbers when he comes in to check his blood sugar before he eats lunch, is he able to concentrate because his blood sugar is staying in a normal range. I had no CGM at the time. The technology that's available today was not available at that time, so we were constantly doing finger sticks to check his blood sugar. So throughout the day I'm not at school with him. I'm thinking all day about is his number okay? Did they remember to test? Nobody called me, so I'm going to assume he's okay. And then I had to retrain myself because my initial reaction when I would pick him up was to say how was your numbers today?
Speaker 4:And.
Speaker 3:I had to teach myself that that could not be the question. The question had to revert back to the normal, and the normal was tell me about your day, how was your day, and not make it about the new normal all the time.
Speaker 4:So that was your normal and your offshoot of kind of this new normal. What would have been if we interviewed him at eight? What would you think his normal would have been compared to his new normal?
Speaker 3:At eight, he probably, I think, also went through the similar feelings of being angry. There was a little bit of a level of anger and frustration. You know he was a little bit more hesitant to do things, I think in the very beginning, and, you know, had to adjust. There were new instances that came up that we had to consider. If there's a pizza party at school for somebody's birthday and his number was too high, pizza wasn't really a good option for him for lunch, and so the frustration of him having to maybe not eat the pizza when all his friends were eating the pizza at eight years old can be very hard to understand.
Speaker 1:Laurie, this is such a personal matter for Mark and I. I mean, we've obviously had very brief conversation ahead of time. I'll let Mark speak for his own story. But for me, I was diagnosed as an adult in my late 30s and you know my normal quote unquote shifted dramatically so. But I've done a lot of work. Speaking at camp you know Camp Jada, juvenile Diabetes and American Diabetes Association, camps for kids I think you touch on something that is so complex but yet simple. Like a parent realizes that when it comes to their child it's very black and white, I must do whatever to keep that child safe. But you're now balancing two normals. You're balancing your own normal and quote unquote run into each other.
Speaker 3:What did you learn from him in those early days that helped you redefine normal? What I learned from him was to live in the moment. Children have an amazing ability to only focus on what's in front of them. They don't anticipate what's going to happen. They don't have the life experience to anticipate the pitfalls of, you know, things that could happen, and so they tend to live in the moment.
Speaker 3:And it taught me to live in the moment, and that was a big shift from the normal person that I was before, because the person I was before I'm a planner by nature and so I would plan things and I would anticipate things and I always had a contingency plan, and with diabetes, you have to have a contingency plan and you definitely have to be a planner. But I also learned that I could sit and worry from today till tomorrow about something that may or may not happen, and I was taking away the moment, and so that's really what he taught me, as he was able to do that he was able to focus on whatever he was doing at the moment and not worry about what was next.
Speaker 2:Laurie, there's something as I'm listening to you talk and Alan mark your questions as we're going through this, I can't help but be struck by our attachment I think all of our attachment to predictability, and that becomes the vein through which we live our life.
Speaker 2:We make decisions, how we view things, how we act, and whether it's a physical diagnosis, a sudden death, something rocks your world. Whatever it is, a financial crisis, all of those things shatter the glass on predictability and thank goodness we don't walk around thinking something bad is going to happen. And I'm just I'm not sure exactly what my question is. I think I'm thinking about myself as of late and thinking about because my mother died at such a young age it came, you know, it was a long illness, all of those things how I have lived a good portion of my life thinking something like always on the lookout for the other shoe to fall. And I'm wondering, if you can talk about that, how you've been able to maybe balance that and incorporate maybe that urge to always be looking around the corner for something bad to happen, how you've been able to balance that out in your life and in what is your terminal.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a really great question and topic to talk about, because I've had several instances in my life where things happen suddenly and unexpectedly happens suddenly and unexpectedly and I think that it's very easy and I still do at times get that feeling of, oh my gosh, I'm almost too happy something's going to happen or this is too good to be true. When's the other shoe going to drop?
Speaker 1:Hold on now. Three of us are Jewish on this thing, so that's just inbred.
Speaker 4:Hey, us Catholics have it too, don't?
Speaker 2:worry about it Tied so closely together. Yeah, for sure, we're right there.
Speaker 4:We're totally related yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I mean, I always, you know, tried to calculate the risk when I would make a decision, and and is this, you know, but this part of your career to an event planning, wasn't it?
Speaker 3:Right, I was an event planner for years and and, yes, that I had to plan and I had to think about every contingency plan and I had to think about every possibility of you know, something that could maybe, you know, unexpectedly happen that I had to deal with. And so, yes, I guess innately I was always like that, but this really did change me in that when it happened to him and then consequently happened to us, and then consequently happened to us, it really changed me in that I thought to myself I have got to and he taught me this too I have got to just stay in the moment and stop anticipating things, because never in my wildest dreams could I have anticipated that he would get diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
Speaker 4:In a way, being in the moment alleviates the complexity of the issue. Right, because where I think I'm hearing the complication come through loud and clear and, phyllis, you really said it so eloquently it's the predictability. And when we lose that, that's where it starts getting complex. We strive for something that we can lean into, something that we're used to, and when we lose that, that's where it starts getting complex. We strive for something that we can lean into, something that we're used to, and when that's kind of taken away from us, we've got to use our logical mind to figure out well, what am I going to hold on to? I can overprepare, I can set all these expectations, I can make sure I have all these snacks, I can check the blood sugar more snacks I can. I can check the blood sugar more. So you're looking for things that you can control in an unpredictable space, when really all they want, and all you want, is to enjoy the moment at hand. Um, so I appreciate that.
Speaker 4:You know, I, my son, was diagnosed eight days before leaving before college, and so very much the same way, my normal was oh, oh I'm, I'm excited and nervous. He's going off to college. There's already the complexity of, you know someone leaving the house, but then it's like I have no control of his health now and and he's away and he's got this thing. One of the things I learned from my son, um lori, is the exact same thing you learned is be in the moment. So my son went skydiving. I'm like is that really a great idea? And he's like, yeah, it is a great idea, I want to go do that. And, um, he has leaned into this disease. He's, he's, uh, he now works. He's a student at the university of flor and now he's also works at the Institute, the Diabetic Institute, which is the largest in the country. I was just texting him a second ago. He's going to be attending an event and speaking at the university in Orlando. Touch by TD.
Speaker 3:Touch by T1D.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so he's going to be at that event, and so what I've learned from that complexity is very similar to your story. Be in the moment, lean into it. You don't have to have all of this predictability, because really it was fake predictability before anyways.
Speaker 3:It really was, and that's what it taught me too, is you have no control. If something is going to happen, it is going to happen, in my opinion, regardless of what you do to prepare for it. There was no way you could have avoided your son getting this diagnosis. There was no way he could have avoided it. It is an autoimmune disease. His body reacted this way. No choices that he could have made would have prevented that from happening, and so it really really made it click for me that I have got to stop anticipating what could be and just start enjoying what is. And that doesn't mean that you're not worried or that you're not fearful.
Speaker 3:When they go do something new. My son is playing in a beach volleyball league and they played at nine o'clock last night and, yes, exercise can definitely affect your blood sugar. I was concerned about the time of day. I did not mention that at all to him. I carry that myself. I do not put my worries onto him, but I think about it, I thought about it and then I thought he's got this. He's responsible, he knows what he deals with. He knows what he deals with and I have to let that go and enjoy the fact that he is doing something he loves to do, and that's playing a sport.
Speaker 1:The congruence, if that's the right word, and how this all comes together is just amazing to me. I feel like we're on one super highway that's interconnected, and what I'm talking about is the theme that's underpinning all of this is fear. And so, Laurie and this is for really for you, I mean, it's for everybody, of course, but specifically you and Mark I'm curious because, Mark, you know, you're dealing with this relatively new, but at such a volatile age, right? And whereas Laurie, at least, has had time to write a book about it, you know.
Speaker 1:So, Laurie, the underpinning in a lot of our shows, almost every single show, always ties back to fear. It's the fear of being wrong. So somebody's overthinking something. They're overthinking because they don't, you know, they want to make the wrong choice. We've got a show that you know where someone's talking about whistleblowing and the math. So fear is underneath this. We're going to get tips from you later, and definitely. But how have you addressed, how has your family? How have you brought fear into the conversation and not overthought and made it more complex than it needs to be, Besides the fact that if you make it harder than it needs to be, there's life at risk? But how have you managed fear, Because I know so many people listening to this are like wait a minute. There's lessons to be learned in my real everyday life, and I don't have diabetes.
Speaker 3:And it really. You can take out diabetes and put anything else in it. Any life changingchanging, any life-altering experience, and I think that the experience would be similar and the feelings would be similar. And for us it was arming ourselves with knowledge and so getting involved in the community, learning more about type 1, learning about the research that was being done to treat and prevent and to cure the disease gave us knowledge and it gave us power. And once I had that knowledge, then it was just a matter of time and confidence in learning how to care for him, learning how to care for him, and so I tried to simplify it as best I could and tried to, and it was a work. Phyllis was there in the beginning. She knows all the ups and downs. This isn't something that happens overnight. This is something that happens over the course of a long period of time of adjusting to your normal. But I had to learn how to manage the fear, so it didn't take away the joy.
Speaker 1:Wow, Can you say that again, Mark? You just got mic dropped out of the building again.
Speaker 4:I know but that's okay. I'm okay if Lori has the mic dropped.
Speaker 1:Can you?
Speaker 3:say that again, please. I had to learn how to manage the fear so that it did not take away my joy.
Speaker 3:Wow, that's incredible, because here I had this incredible son that I was so excited and waited so long for, and I was angry that something was going to interfere with that and I decided early on that I was not going to allow it interfere for him, and so I had to manage the fear and I had to manage the uncertainty of everything so that I could give him the confidence and him the ability to enjoy everything that was coming his way. And that's where it becomes very complex, and at the same time you have to break that down and simplify it. I want him to be happy, I want him to do everything he would have done before the diagnosis, so I have to manage my own expectations and fears so that he can still be a child, and that's the complexity and the challenge of parenting a child with a diagnosis that you don't expect.
Speaker 1:You can bring that into anything though.
Speaker 1:I mean you just literally pulled a freaking thread through all of the shows we've done so far. Yep, because I don't. I don't know about you, mark and Phil. I've never, I've never, thought of complexity robbing my joy this way. Now Toby talked about it in her show, which is a great show.
Speaker 1:If you haven't had a chance, toby Kinsel, I don't, kinsel, excuse me, don't remember what show number it was, but the Radiant Key and she talks about it. But I don't. But because I've experienced diabetes, the only thing I can think of is the closest analogy was I go on a golf trip every year, uh, and I've been doing it for 15 years now. Uh, 12, whatever. And one day, when I left my uh, I left my kit on the golf cart and my buddy said oh my God, al, we just realized if something happened to you we don't know, you've never told us what to do, that would suck. If realized, if something happened to you we don't know, you've never told us what to do, that would suck. If, if, if we had a, you would totally ruin our golf trip. And I was like you know, I just realized my disease could take their joy away. That's the closest, maybe.
Speaker 3:I thought, wow, Well, and that leads oh sorry, go ahead oh no Lori please. No, go ahead. I would love to hear what you wanted to say.
Speaker 4:I think what you shared also goes on to another plane. So, as a parent, think of all the things that we do to protect our children's joy. They don't know our finances, they don't know the struggles we had that day.
Speaker 3:They don't know the stresses that that we have, have, have, have been through, because we're we're protecting that happiness and joy and love and freedom by taking on that complexity, by taking on those challenges and and kind of distilling just the joy back to them. Right, and that's true. The one thing that I did do, though, when he was first diagnosed one of our first follow-up appointments at the endocrinologist we were on our way there, and this is a scene in the book and this was a true scene to what happened to us, and I shared it in the book because I thought it was important. We pulled up into the parking lot and we were about to get out of the car and he, very quietly in the back, said I hate diabetes, and I said I hate diabetes more. I said I hate diabetes more and he said no, I hate. And we got louder and louder.
Speaker 3:And the two of us were back and forth to where we started to laugh and we said, oh my gosh, if anybody saw us now. And then it was over. We got out of the car, we walked into the building and it was done. I tried to, whenever I could, let him know that his feelings were validated and that it was okay to feel that way. You want to punch a pillow? Punch a pillow, get angry. Punch a pillow, take it out. Get it out, don't hold anything in. Because that, to me, was worse Like the worry that I did have as a parent was that he would internalize it and not vocalize it, and so I did become conscientious about not sharing my innermost fears with him, but letting him know that I feel the same way. It's okay that you feel this way. Now we got to move on. Now we've got to get back to regular programming here, and so it was. You know it was a balancing act and I didn't always do it right, but I sure tried.
Speaker 1:What a powerful God. I want to be your kid.
Speaker 2:You know I have said that to myself many, many times and I have to be your kid. You know I have said that to myself many, many times and I have to say, laurie, you are an incredible mother, incredible.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Now, laurie, while we anoint you with these, this joy, this honor, while we flower you with all of this, you know, oh my God, super poem, all that there's also a time to come back to the reality of life, and that that is right now, because it is time for the roll up. This is the roll up, and if you're new to the episodes, if you're new to the complexity of toilet paper, yes, we're splicing and dicing the finer intricacies and intricacies of life as it relates to complexity, but when you get right down to it, it's all about sitting on the john or standing and asking the hard questions and answering them. So, lori, I have a question Are you ready to stall it up with us in the roll-up?
Speaker 4:I'm in stall it up, let's go, I like that stall it up.
Speaker 2:I don't practice this stuff. You know that it's.
Speaker 1:It's a crapshoot.
Speaker 2:Thank, you thank you there's that singing phil, all right.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you. There's that singing Phil, all right.
Speaker 4:Who wants to start? Who wants to start? I'll start. I've got a question All right go. All right, lori, if normal was a bathroom habit, what would it be and why?
Speaker 3:Oh, if normal was a bathroom habit, it would be to always put the toilet paper on the roll the same way.
Speaker 4:And what's the same. What's the correct way?
Speaker 3:For me it's over.
Speaker 4:All right, yes, I'm going to go over Nice.
Speaker 3:Stay in the stall, but there's other people that live in my house. What?
Speaker 4:Not normal.
Speaker 1:Not normal. I have a question, and this has nothing to do with your bathroom per se. I'm assuming you don't have a bathroom that is like a true stall in a public restroom Correct, okay, but when it comes to a public restroom room, are you a latch person or a bolt person?
Speaker 3:Oh, I like a latch. I feel like it's more secure. Sometimes those, those bolts have used so much they don't click right no, the door just swings open. I know, I don't know it's true, I don't like that either.
Speaker 2:I like when it goes into a hook, or yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I'm just.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I don't want anybody barging in. Hey, important things are happening in that room.
Speaker 3:I don't want anybody barging in.
Speaker 1:I'm just like how funny it would be to like have a restroom and like in your bathroom door in your house. It's got like a deadbolt and a digital lock and maybe you put like the uh, what do you call it? The little like that's your front door.
Speaker 3:That would be okay. Little deadbolt, yeah, with the camera, although I don't know.
Speaker 4:If you want, you have a ring camera in the front you're like who's here?
Speaker 1:hey, ring you. You just got a new idea. Thank you, from the complexity of toilet paper. I wouldn't put it on the inside though, anyway, all. Anyway, all right, phyllis Martin, we got two new questions out of the gate. You better bring it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know I've been starting to sweat over here about what the new question would be. But, Lori, since you are the planner of all planners, if you could plan the perfect bathroom, what would be in it Like? What would? It look like the perfect bathroom. Are we talking about just like the?
Speaker 3:toilet closet or are we talking about the whole bathroom?
Speaker 2:The whole thing. What functions, what features? Yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, interestingly enough, we redid our bathroom a couple of years ago and I got rid of the jacuzzi tub and I put in a bench that holds like towels and sheets, things like that, and I freed up a lot of space in there. I like a really nice size shower, wouldn't mind a vanity area and definitely two sinks.
Speaker 4:Okay, but.
Speaker 3:I mean come on.
Speaker 4:That's nice, but it's almost kind of standard. This isn't the complexity of the bathroom.
Speaker 1:It's the complexity of the toilet.
Speaker 3:I need a little table so I can put my phone down. Would there be?
Speaker 2:two toilet closets, two separate closets, two like separate toilets or like from Saturday Night Live the love toilets where they face each other.
Speaker 4:No not those.
Speaker 1:No, no, I feel like she would have separate toilets.
Speaker 3:There's something that should always stay a mystery. I think that I would definitely love two toilets with two doors. Yes, with latches with latches let him have his own little space. I'm all for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think what they should do is. I think we should all be forced in uh, to write um who's. You know how, like if you go to public restrooms they write this bathroom is cleaned by. And you know right, I think there should. I think in your house there should be a. This bathroom was used by, so you know.
Speaker 2:Oh, I do too, there's accountability. Yeah Right, I'm with you.
Speaker 1:Now, if there's only two of you, it's like, but when there's a large group of people, oh yeah, there's the guest bathroom and then there's everything else.
Speaker 3:lori, just last last last question here um bidet or no?
Speaker 1:bidet, no bidet.
Speaker 2:Phil, phil, no bidet that was kind of no, no, no, no mark I, I've never used one.
Speaker 4:Uh, you've never used a bidet.
Speaker 2:No, Now you're on an island by yourself again.
Speaker 4:I know I'm going to have to go find one.
Speaker 1:Hey, can I recommend that you just don't go find one? Because there are things that act like bidets that are not, and that is not a good experience.
Speaker 4:They're like, sir, that's a water fountain.
Speaker 1:Pardon me All right, wow, okay. Experience. Yeah, they're like, sir, that's a water fountain. Yeah, pardon me, all right, wow, okay, I don't even know how to follow that one up?
Speaker 4:yeah, I don't either. Yeah, how about we just move on to tips?
Speaker 1:let's move on to tips. That's right. All right, bring us home.
Speaker 4:All right so, lori, you have provided some incredible narrative around what is normal, the change in normal, how that impacts people, whether they have family members or themselves who have experienced some sort of dramatic change. And so obviously, uh, you have have come through that with a an amazingly positive attitude, with a book, with a story to share that you share openly with others, and I think our listeners would really enjoy a better understanding of some tips that they could use in their life, regardless of the situation, but where their normal has been interrupted.
Speaker 3:Absolutely so. My first tip would be is to share your story. Share with other people what is happening in your life, because the more you do that, the more you'll find common ground, the more you'll feel less isolated and less alone and the more your reality will feel normal to you, the more you talk about it and the more you share and the more you connect with people who may have similar experiences. I think that will help normalize your new normal and then learn to be open to the challenges of the day and not to get stuck in the perception of what should be normal or what should be happening, and learn to lean into what is actually happening in the moment. And I think that's really, I mean, you know. So share, share.
Speaker 4:Share is, I think, a big one to lean into. So when, when you talk about sharing, one of the areas that comes to mind are there's a lot of people, including myself, who are pretty private and, um, people will ask how are you doing, I'm fine, or things are all right, or you know you'll share surface level issues that are going on in your life, but I think you're talking about sharing something deeper than that. So, for someone like me, who maybe doesn't know how to share or who to share with what, is it share with everybody? Is it share with some people?
Speaker 3:Is it?
Speaker 4:share through a particular medium, like what's share closest to you because the more they understand, the more supportive they can be.
Speaker 3:The other side of that is find your community.
Speaker 3:Whatever it is that you are dealing with whether it's diabetes, whether it is a parent with Alzheimer's, whether it's a parent with Alzheimer's, whether it's a parent of cancer whatever it is that you are dealing with that has rocked your world find people who have similar experiences and talk to them. Learn from people who have been going through it already and get involved in that community, because being around people who are experiencing things similar to what you're experiencing will normalize it for you. You also will learn so much about what it is that you're dealing with that you will be armed with more knowledge, and knowledge is power. People say that all the time, and it's really the truth. It is so simple the more you know, the less you're fearful, and so that, to me, is one of the biggest pieces of advice that I could offer is to find your community and get involved, and so when I say, talk about it and share, share it with those people who are also, you know, experiencing with you is that normal is up for grabs.
Speaker 1:But within the confines of whatever that normal is, you still got to find a way to normalize, and that act is so powerful.
Speaker 3:I agree with you completely and I think that the more you can normalize whatever it is that you're going through, the easier it's going to make your day-to-day life, Because you're not going to be fighting against it. You know, in the beginning you fight against it. Your instinct is to say that this isn't right. You know I can't do this or I don't want to do this. And the more that you accept and the more that you learn, the more it normalizes it and that frees you up to just live your life.
Speaker 2:Then so, lori, before we close out and leave the stall and get some air freshener, I am y'all. That was funny. Like what is the delayed laugh? That was funny. That was funny.
Speaker 1:Well, no, it was funny, but I mean, she just dropped this bomb and it wasn't the kind of bomb that needs air freshener, though. Oh, it probably did I mean she dropped the. That was another mic drop, but I had god. Now I feel bad.
Speaker 2:You should feel bad. I'm moving on, laurie, before you go um, and, of course, we're so grateful that you, that you were here and have shared um so much about your own experience, um, and and offered such great and valuable information for our listeners. Before you go, will you let our listeners know where they can find the book and how they can access it, or how they can access you?
Speaker 3:Yes, thank you. So what Happened to Normal is available on Amazon as a paperback or ebook. You can get it on your Kindle. You can also go into any bookstore and order it. They won't have it on the shelf, but they will be able to order it for you. And I'm on social media on Instagram, you can find me on Facebook. You can find me on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1:What do they look for? Do you have a specific handle?
Speaker 3:So on Instagram and Facebook, it's Ashore no novel. A S C H U R N O V E L.
Speaker 1:And we'll put that in the show notes as well. Thank you, and if you're listening, well, duh Al, if you're listening, you're not at this. I got to stop using that.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's just stupid anyway, yeah, but seriously, let's, let's blow this book up. Man, you got a great individual, a wonderful mother, she's got a great story and, you know, don't get swept away by the diabetes aspect of it. You know, I think if there's one thing we've learned in this show, it's there's lessons to be learned within the lessons to be learned that are giving you the lessons to learn, and you've given us that. So thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much and I just to piggyback on what you just said I have actually had people reach out to me who are not connected to the diabetes world at all that have been greatly impacted by the book. Different scenarios a young girl, 20 years old, who had hearing loss at a young age and has to wear hearing aids, and identified with the son in the book because he had to wear a device, and she really learned a lot, not only from the book, but gave her new perspective on choices her mother made throughout the years because of her diagnosis. And so, yes, I think you can substitute anything for diabetes and still find the book very relatable.
Speaker 1:And if you want to know more about diabetes. If you have questions, it's BreakthroughT1Dorg. And again we'll put that in the show notes. And again, we'll put that in the show notes, lori Shore. Thank you. I have to say, on a corny note, this has been a sure thing.
Speaker 4:I'll get the air freshener for that one.
Speaker 2:Thank you Right. Who's with me? Better placement. Thank you, Mark.
Speaker 4:Yeah, all right, thank you, all right, I love it.
Speaker 3:Thank you all so much. I so appreciate the opportunity to talk with you.
Speaker 1:You are welcome. You have been listening to the complexity of toilet paper.
Speaker 2:Did you say toilet paper? Everything complicated.
Speaker 3:One big, big mess. I'm overthinking, I'm over. I'm over that game.
